It’s hard for me to believe that you’re going to be 2 in 2 weeks. The time has really flown by for me. Since the last letter I wrote you, so much has happened. You got your first haircut at your first Disney trip. The haircut really wasn’t very drastic because I couldn’t part with your curls. Those curls of yours are everything to me, and I just couldn’t do that to you. You’ve also visited Disney a few times since that first trip and I honestly think that you loved it! I would take you to ride Dumbo or the carousel, and you would giggle this infectious little giggle that made everything worth it. I’d take you a thousand more times just to watch you enjoy yourself.
No lie, you have been a handful lately. The terrible 2’s have really gotten a hold of you and it has turned you into this crazy little human that wants to fight me on everything. I understand you want your independence, but sometimes you need to trust that Mom knows what’s best for you. I love you more than life itself, and I would do anything to protect you from any and all harm that would come to you, and lately, that means I need to protect you from yourself. You have no fear. None. It’s a scary, scary thing for me because as much as I want to give you some space, sometimes you do things and I swear my heart is going to jump out of my chest and fall down on the floor at your feet. For some things you are very cautious, but for others, not so much. We need to get in sync about this because if you want your mommy to be around by the time you’re 3, you really need to stop scaring me so much.
I hope you know how much I love you, even when you’ve pushed that button that sets me off. I try very hard to stay calm and not let your tantrums get the better of me, but after hearing you whining, crying, or screaming over something like your paci fell for the 50 billionth time in a day, it gets to a point where mommy loses it and screams. I try really, really hard not to, but you know the right button to push and when to push it. I promise you I’ll try harder, for both of our sakes.
We have our own way of communicating with each other. I know what you need by certain words you use, and I know you’re trying really hard to build your vocabulary. I’m proud of you. Honestly and truly. I know you can get very frustrated that you can’t fully explain yourself, but that will all come with time. Keep trying and have patience my love. You’ve made incredible strides with your vocabulary, and you can repeat just about the entire alphabet back to us, even though you get stuck at L, M, N & W. It’s adorable to watch you learning and repeating all these new words.
And there are certain words you say that no matter how many times I’ve heard it, it still cracks me up (ex: pi-PA for pizza), and as much as I should be correcting you, I can’t help but join in on your horrible pronunciation, because really, this cuteness is not going to last for long. You also have a strange obsession with smelling your stinky feet. It’s kind of our little game though, and right now those little piggies of yours really don’t get all that stinky, but you think the game is fun and I love the time we spend together playing it.
How could I not laugh along with that silly giggle?!
This stage of your life has been very bipolar for me in the sense that I’m loving all the new things you’re learning and how you’re developing, but the tantrums and the struggle for independence is something I could do without. We’re both a work in progress right now and as much as I would love to be the perfect mom for you, deep down inside I know that’s impossible, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop trying.
I love you silly!