They say that each pregnancy is different and I have found that to be true with both of mine, but the way you view your pregnancies also seems to change with each consecutive pregnancy and your adherence to strict “pregnancy rules” seems to change as well. The things you may have done with one pregnancy may not be the same with each consecutive pregnancy, and I can tell you that I am nowhere near as strict as I was with pregnancy #2 as I was with #1. Not only is your adherence to these rules different, but how you feel about each pregnancy also changes. That’s not to say you don’t love each baby the same, but your feelings about the actual pregnancy may not be the same with your second as it was with your first. Here are a few things I have found in my 34 weeks of pregnancy with baby 2.0 that have been different from Sebastian.
1. Diet
Pregnancy #1: With Sebastian, I was very strict about what I consumed. I made sure to stay way from caffeine and from all the recommended “don’t eat this or else” foods. I had also suffered a miscarriage before conceiving Sebastian so that fear of that happening again weighed heavily on my mind. I drank nothing but water and maybe the occasional Sprite. I was all about healthy snacks, fruits, and vegetables, I made sure to get my proteins and carbs in. I was very by the book.
Pregnancy #2: With this pregnancy, I eat what I can get my hands on. Seriously. Trying to keep up with a 2-year-old and being pregnant, you don’t care about what you’re eating, so long as you get some food in you and you’re not starving yourself. Subway deli sandwiches? Bring em’ on! Hot dogs at the county fair? I’m starving!!!! I’ll take 2! And most importantly, I absolutely must still have a cup of coffee in the morning because my son is still a horrible sleeper and his internal alarm clock goes off at the same time every morning and he does not care how tired you are; you must wake up as soon as he’s awake. I’ve at least switched to decaf to trick my mind a little and not feel so bad about drinking straight up coffee, but seriously! This whole “no coffee while pregnant” rule is just not happening with baby #2.
2. Milestones
Pregnancy #1: With Sebastian, every little milestone was such a big deal to me. When I crossed over to the 2nd and 3rd trimester I nearly through a party. Each ultrasound was like a party with various family members coming for a look. My husband would come with me to all of these important appointments and the excitement was just mounting with each passing week. I looked forward to anatomy scans, glucose tests, even the strep B test. Everything seemed to be a really big deal. I also posted those little weekly pictures showing how big my child was in comparison to fruits on Facebook. I’m sure my friends hated me, but I was so excited I didn’t care. I also didn’t understand why other women were complaining about wanting to get the pregnancy over with. I could have stayed pregnant forever with Sebastian and it wouldn’t have phased me. I enjoyed my pregnancy that much.
Pregnancy #2: Half the time I don’t even know how far along I am. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had to see the high-risk OB every other week for fetal fibronectin tests, I really would have no idea how far along I am. I haven’t taken a baby bump picture since my 23rd week, even though I keep meaning too, and half my Facebook friends don’t even know I’m pregnant. Some were actually shocked when they received a baby shower invite from my mother because they had no clue. And as far as complaining about being pregnant, I can’t wait to get this over with already. I am so exhausted of not being able to fully function like I used to and not having the same amount of energy I used to. I can’t keep up with my 2-year old and in truth, his roughness scares me because he will start trying to roughhouse with me and hurt my belly. I’m done with this pregnancy. I can’t wait to get this over with.
3. Stress
Pregnancy #1: Everything was so incredibly peaceful with Sebastian. I was working while I was pregnant with him, and actually worked up until the day before I went into labor – but that’s also because I went into labor 3 weeks early. I remember my whole pregnancy being so calm and so peaceful. I took prenatal yoga classes, I meditated, birds were chirping the whole pregnancy.
Pregnancy #2: If I can go one day without screaming or being screamed at I’m lucky. Stress is at an all-time high because my loving toddler is hitting the threenager years and his emotions and tantrums have been through the roof! Beyond the fact that I’ve been worried about going into labor early because of my complications, my child’s behavior has not helped matters any. Also, with my first pregnancy, I was completely ignorant of what it meant to be a parent. Yes, I was forewarned by everyone that my days of sleeping were over, but I brushed it all off. I knew at the beginning it would be bad, but I thought I would eventually get to sleep again, and by eventually, I thought that would be within the first couple of months. I haven’t slept in nearly 3 years, with the exception of my husband and mines weekend away. Beyond that, every so often my husband will take care of my son in the mornings and I try to get some sleep, but my son is loud. Very loud. So that doesn’t always happen either.
4. Preparations
Pregnancy #1: I read every book known to man in preparation for Sebastian’s birth. I read all kinds of birthing method books, parenting books, breastfeeding books, how-to books. If it had to do with child-rearing and labor, I read it. I researched all kinds of things from whether I would cloth diaper or not, vaccines, circumcision, etc. I wanted to be sure I was informed and educated with all things having to do with having a child, and a boy in particular.
Pregnancy #2: I haven’t even bothered picking up a book. Half the research, I already did with my first pregnancy, so I already know certain things that will happen with this child, but even though I am going to try for a VBAC instead of a repeat section, I haven’t picked up my birthing book at all. I’m just going to wing it and hope for the best.
5. Nursery
Pregnancy #1: We had the nursery completely prepared almost 3 months ahead of time. In truth, there was a lot of preparation to be done because at the time the nursery was the office so we had to clear out the office, find space for all the stuff or sell it, paint and decorate it, etc. I knew all of this would take time, so we started preparing everything very early on.
Pregnancy #2: The only reason this child has a crib is because it was already in the room. With all the preparations I did for Sebastian, the only time we went into that room was for diaper changes and to grab new clothes. We ended up bedsharing until he was 13 months old, with a little trial run at around 9 months or so, so for the most part, the nursery didn’t get used. When we finally moved him to the crib, I had to wash his sheets because they were dusty. The two kids will be “sharing” a room. That is to say that when baby #2 is ready to use her crib, she will be in the same room as Sebastian, and since we ended up finding a toddler bed for him on the side of the road, we just set up the room with a bed and the crib. It made no sense to break down the crib only to have to set it up again, so we just left it in there prepared for whenever we actually get to use it. The only thing I did do was make space for this baby’s clothes in the closet and dresser. That’s about as far as my nursery preparations have gone.
