I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what makes a good mother. I think as mothers, we all judge ourselves based on how we react during given circumstances, and oftentimes we are our own worst critics. I know I judge myself pretty harshly when I feel like I react less then perfect with my kids, and lately that seems to be happening a lot lately.
I have one kid that is my climber and is constantly climbing things. She’s already visited the ER twice and has had 14 stitches to repair gashes she’s received. Thankfully the gashes were caused by falling while walking or sitting on the ground and not because she fell off something, but she is constantly giving me heart attacks with her death defying acrobatics.
My first born has decided he knows better than me on all subjects and has decided to stop listening to me when I tell him to do things, because even though he’s only four, he’s all grown and can handle things himself. I am also constantly being told by his teacher that he’s hitting kids in class because they have something he wants or they took something from him. I’ve been having the same problem at home with him and he just doesn’t listen no matter what I do.
To say I’m at wits end would be an understatement, but each day I wake up determined that today will be better than yesterday. I wake up telling myself that today I will have more patience and I will scream less, that I will be more understanding. I tell myself that things will get better and sometimes they do, but then the kids wake up and one starts crying because she was woken up and wants to keep sleeping and the other is whining about getting ready for school and we have to be there in 20 minutes and he’s laying there crying about being cold or because he can’t reach his feet or some such nonsense and it takes all my willpower to not lose it right then and there. When I’ve been dealing with that all day, by the end of the day I’m done. I’m exhausted of dealing with the crying and whining and sometimes I do lose it and then I come down on myself for not being more patient or not talking them down or not knowing what to do to make them feel better without over indulging them.
Truth is though, I don’t get any time for myself. I bath with the kids, I end up using the bathroom with the kids. One sleeps with me, and when dad is away on trips, both sleep with me. It’s all about the kids 24/7 and i don’t get time to do what I enjoy like sewing, knitting, or cycling. I hardly have time to clean the house because I constantly feel like I’m putting out fires or finding a way to entertain the kids so they’re not whining/trying to kill themselves.
So what makes a good mother? I would say a good mother is someone who tries every day to be better version of herself given impossible circumstances day after day. Her house may be messy, and her emotions may be frayed, but every single day she sacrifices pieces of herself to raise her kids right and make sure they are good kids and they have what they need.