School is Back and so is the Crazy Mom Shuffle
School is back in session and that means I am back doing the crazy mom shuffle. I am back to driving kids around all over town for their various activities, driving my son to school, and all the lack of sleep that comes with all of this. Here is a “day in the life” of this mom.
7:30 am. Wake-up and try to pry myself out from under Madison without waking her up. That’s an easy day. A hard day is if she does wake up and spends the whole morning chasing me around the house while crying as I’m trying to get myself and Sebastian dressed. She will hang on to my leg and not let me move until I pick her up and carry her. This now means I need to get myself and my son dressed one handed. And by “get my son dressed”, I literally mean get him dressed - while he’s sleeping no less.
8:00 am. Try to get everyone out of the house and into the car. This means that I am walking out the door with my daughter to put her in her car seat, which can take upwards of 10 minutes just to convince her to sit in her seat. When Sebastian decides to finally make his appearance at the car, now I am also telling him to get buckled into his car seat instead of playing with the toy he’s smuggling to school, or staring at the ducks walking down the sidewalk, or whatever else happens to catch his attention. That is, if he’s not screaming and complaining about it being too hot, too bright, or all of the above.
8:10 am (if I’m lucky, otherwise it’s exactly 8:20 and we’re late). Deal with drop off line at school and all the parents that are pulling their crazy driving maneuvers to get their kids dropped off on time too. Then, when I finally get to the front of the line, I get my son out, get his book bag on, and convince him that nothing is going to happen to him in the 20 feet it takes to walk to the cafeteria by himself, without me.
After upsetting all of the parents in line behind me (because it takes way too long to convince my son of his safety), I finally leave the school and head home where I have a mountain of laundry to take care of, a sink full of dishes to deal with, and a load of toys I spent the night before trying to convince my son to pick up and finally gave up at a certain point because I knew it wouldn’t be as perfect as I would like it to be. All of these seem to never get done especially since I have a daughter who only seems to want my boobs and can’t seem to grasp that 1) she is now 2 and I really, really want her to wean already, and 2) that I have things to do outside of breastfeeding and snuggling with her, as much as I would like to, I just can’t stand the anxiety of knowing I have a house to take care of, a blog and vlog to run, and a craft business that I’m trying to get off the ground so that I can spend more time with my kids.
So I will plan my day in my fancy planner while she’s eating or playing with a toy, of which none of the stuff I plan to do ever gets done. I am able to get a load in the wash and a load in the dryer, but ask me if I can fold and put away all those clothes? And trying to get the dishwasher unloaded and loaded proves to be an equally daunting task because I am now fighting with a toddler that can’t stand to see an open door.
Eventually, my daughter has an EPIC tantrum because she has decided that mom telling her a million times an hour that it is not time to nurse is no good and she wants to nurse right now, of which I will give in, she will fall asleep and trap me in bed, on the chair, on the sofa, etc. Next thing I know it, it’s time to pick up my son from school and my nice little list of things that needed to get done has basically been scrapped.
1:30 pm Leave the house, spend 10 minutes trying to convince my daughter that she needs to sit in her chair, not her brothers chair, not the back seat of the mini van (yes, I’m that mom), and no, it’s not time to play in the drivers seat. It’s time to sit in your chair!
I finally get her strapped in and turn on Frozen for the millionth time to keep her entertained in the back seat while we wait in a crazy line with a bunch of other parents to pick up my son from school.
Finally, he’s in the car and we’re headed home, to which I get yelled at when I ask how school went. This whole conversation usually goes something like this:
Me: “So how was school today sweetheart, did you get to play outside with your friends today? How was lunch?”
Sebastian: “FINE! NOW STOP ASKING ME, YOU’RE ANNOYING ME MOM!”
2:30 pm Finally get home, get the kids inside the house after spending the past 10 minutes trying to convince them that playing in the front yard and possibly in the street is not a good idea. Get my son some snacks and go over the homework packet that is the bane of my existence.
From here on out, I spend the rest of my night fighting with my son to:
Do his homework
Pick up the toys he was supposed to pick up the night before, which he promptly ignores and takes out more toys to make an even bigger mess, so that when he picks up later, we’re back to a medium sized mess and not an all out catastrophe.
Stop pestering his sister.
Stop pestering me.
Eat his dinner
Take a bath and actually take a bath instead of spending an hour in the bath playing with toys and forgetting to actually wash.
Brush his teeth.
Get his PJ’s on and stop running around the house naked like he’s a super hero.
Go to sleep
9:00 pm I finally get him to sleep and now I have to deal with getting Madison to sleep.
10:00 pm rolls around and still no sign of a sleepy Madison.
11:00 pm rolls around and she’s swan diving off the headboard onto my bed.
11:02 pm She’s finally out!!!!!
Now I can finally do things that need to be done, like take a bath in peace. I head off to the shower with visions of warm water and candles and all kinds of peaceful scenery, even though I’m truthfully kicking toys out of the way and wondering what that smell is.
I’m halfway through washing my hair under the imaginary waterfall I’m daydreaming about and have a head full of shampoo when I hear what I have lovingly called my Zombie Baby complaining. Zombie Baby walks into the bathroom crying and screaming because how dare I take a shower! So I try to rinse myself off as quickly as possible, since I am no longer under that amazing waterfall, and dry off as quickly as possible. I grab Zombie Baby and take her back to bed. I take out my Kindle and get lost in my book while I wait for her to completely fall asleep again so I can do what I need to do…
Next thing I know, I am getting woken up to my alarm clock at 7:30 am again and I have to start my day all over again.
This is my life when my husband is on a business trip, which lately seems as if he’s away more than he’s here. When he’s here, he can at least take Sebastian to school and try to entertain Maddie so I can get stuff done, but for the most part, I am on my own.
I have two more years of this until they’re both in school and I will have at least 3 hours on my own every morning…
…of which I will spend crying about how much I miss my kids.