When I first found out I was pregnant with Sebastian, breastfeeding was the one thing I knew I wanted to do. It wasn't really an option, more of a given. I was given the ability to birth children and to feed them from my body, so why would I do it any other way? As all good plans go, that did not work out for me. I don’t know if it was the C-Section, jaundice, a possible undiagnosed lip-tie, but for whatever reason, I just could not keep up production for him. It wasn’t for lack of trying because I was constantly attached to a machine or a child, and I still just did not have enough. Finally, after months of around the clock trying I said enough and I threw in the towel.
My son just had his preschool graduation last week and he was such a proud preschool graduate! He was truly beaming and I was saddened by the whole thing because my little boy is growing up. He always, tells me, "But mama! everyone grows up and gets bigger! I have to get bigger too!" and I always tell him, "I know, but I don't want you to grow up so fast!" It really does seem like time is just passing us by and it's all happening a little too quickly for me.
It has been nearly nonstop raining here this past week. We received a day or two reprieves from the rain midweek, but as of Friday, the rain started again and has not stopped. Because of this, the kids are suffering from cabin fever and I had to find creative ways to entertain them.
Last weekend was Brightline's grand opening for their newly finished Downtown Miami station. I had planned on making a day of it. We were going to take a Brightline train up to Fort Lauderdale and have fun visiting the Riverfront area (since it's blocks away from the station), but the weather was horrible that day and I decided not to risk going by myself with two toddlers on a train to Fort Lauderdale with torrential rains, so we postponed the trip and went this past Wednesday.
My husband has been on a lot of business trips lately leaving me to care for our two young children all by myself. As a stay at home mom, I had come to rely on him coming home from work so I can receive some downtime and do things like shower alone, use the restroom without an audience, or just be able to go to Starbucks without the kids in tow and decompress. So when he’s not here for an extended period of time, like he has been lately, it really wears on me, especially since my youngest is not quite two yet and is very attached to me.