My husband and I have been together almost 15 years. It’s crazy for me to think about! We were friends before we fell in love. We confided our issues to each other and felt comfortable talking to one another. We always ended up together in social gatherings and we enjoyed each others company. Once we realized we loved each other, there was no stopping us from being together.  And today we celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary.

8th Wedding Anniversary

We’ve had our ups and downs like most relationships. The downs have been few and far between. We did break up for a time though when we were dating. That break up felt like the end of the world to me. You see, I felt it was time to move on to the next step in our relationship. It had been 5 years that we were together and he was still afraid of taking that step. In the end, that separation brought us even closer together. He needed that separation to be able to see how much love there was between us.

Previous Marriages

You see, we had both been through a previous marriage that didn’t work. I am a dreamer and a romantic when it comes to relationships. I plunged into our relationship without a thought. He is more of a realist and needed time to make sure he was ready to commit to another marriage. It took him 5 years and a break up to realize what I already knew in my soul; that we were a perfect match. 

He completes me and makes me feel so grounded. If you have ever watched “When Harry Met Sally”, that line where Harry says:

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Well, that was me. That was exactly how I felt about him. I knew he was my perfect match so it saddened me that it took him so long to realize what I already knew. 

But here we are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. 15 years, 1 stepson and 2 kids later and we are still very much in love. That’s not to say we haven’t had our rough spots. I’ve questioned whether we were going to last at times. Any sane person would at some point in any relationship. 

8th Wedding Anniversary

After Kids

Having 2 young kids can be trying on a relationship and would put a strain on the best of marriages. Kids love to push buttons; that’s their job. The parents have to learn how to react to that and not let it stress them out. So every relationship is going to have a push/pull dynamic to it. There will always be moments of extreme closeness and moments where you don’t even want to be in the same room as your partner. So long as you always come back to each other, your marriage will last, and that’s what we do. 
My kids have taught me a lot about myself. They’ve taught me that my snapping point is much further away than I thought. They have taken me to that absolute, extreme breaking point, which has led me to open up much more to my husband. I’ve had to show him that dark crevices of my mind that only a trained psychologist would see, and maybe not even then. I’ve had to show him those corners in my mind that I don’t want to visit because it scares the daylights out of me. Well, I dusted out those cobwebs and aired out the rugs, and those dark corners have seen light. And he’s still here. 

I have given him my heart

I have laid my heart at his feet and asked him to take care of it, and he is protecting it and me.
He is much more attentive to my needs now and understands why I am sometimes “off”. He’s learned things about me that many don’t know. That’s how much trust and faith I have in him. I have laid my heart at his feet and asked him to take care of it, and he is protecting it and me.  This man is my other half because he understands what all this means to me. And instead of pushing me away, he’s drawn me closer to him. 

Life Right Now

Right now, life is busy. With the kids, his work taking him away from us for a few months out of the year, and me trying to build my business, we’re always going. Sometimes I don’t even get to sleep next to him because of what’s going on with Madison’s sleep issues. I know this is only temporary. I received a reminder of this recently from a video Kristina Kuzmic made. Her advice has become my mantra; this is hard right now. In the future, there will be another difficult stage. But there will come a time where we will have more time alone then we have right now. We will be able to go on dates on a whim without having to plan for sitters. And we won’t spend the whole time talking about those same kids we needed a break from. 

Relationship Goals

I know one day we will be able to travel the world together without having to lug around an extra 50 pounds worth of luggage for diapers and toys. One day we will be able to open and close Disney World without having to worry about cranky kids. A cranky wife, maybe, but not kids. 

I will continue to have those hard conversations with him and entrusting him with the pieces of my soul. Click To Tweet

 

One day it will be me and him again and I can’t wait for that day, even though that will mean the end of a season. Until then, I will take what I can get until the kids understand better that mommy and daddy need alone time. There will come a day when our kids won’t be jealous of the time mommy and daddy spend together. There will be a day when they won’t be around to wedge themselves between us when we’re hugging. I will keep connecting with my husband over phone calls at work, while the kids are at school or napping. I will continue to find new ways to keep things spicy. And I will continue to have those hard conversations with him and entrusting him with the pieces of my soul.
 
Why? Because my kids mean the world to me, but one day they will grow up and move out. They will have families of their own and I want my marriage to be as good then, if not more so than it is right now. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. So I will continue to nurture my marriage even while caring for the two little pieces of my heart that I birthed and will one day leave me